80s Teen Sex Comedy Festival: Part #2

The Last American Virgin
(1982)

As far as straight up 80s sex comedies go, this one is probably the one that I remember more than the other films that I have been reviewing. While I haven't seen it in almost twenty years, back in the day I would watch it every time I came across it on HBO.

I didn't know it at the time, but The Last American Virgin was essentially a remake of the cult Israeli hit, Eskimo Limon that set its sexually charged coming of age tale in the sixties. Producers Golan-Globus brought Limon director Boaz Davidson to the states to work his magic on the American youth culture of the day. The resulting film was not nearly the phenomenon that the original Israeli film, but is still a decent film in a genre with more than its share of turds.

Gary (Lawrence Monoson) is your average high school guy. He works for the local pizza shop and hustles to get the keys to the delivery car on the weekend. Of course, the weekends are what he lives for. Hanging out with his two buddies, the hunky Rick and the chunky David, is top priority. Together, they get themselves in ever more bizarre situations in a seemingly futile quest to "score."

As is the case with most "regular guys" in these movies, Gary's interest in the fairer sex actually goes a bit deeper than just getting them into the backseat of the pizza wagon. In fact, Gary suffers from a classic case of "love at first sight." From afar, he sets his eyes on the beautiful Karen only to find out that Rick has already claimed her for himself. Serious teenage drama ensues, culminating in an end that, even when I was ten years old, made me think, "Damn! That's a downer."

Lawrence Monoson as Gary is a lanky, gawky, shnozz-heavy protagonist and as I was re-watching this movie, I couldn't help but imagine that I was watching some sort of bizarro prequel to Everybody Loves Raymond. Yeah, I find it comforting to think that he's a teenage Ray Barone, an everyteen being torn in two by his simultaneous drives to follow his heart and his wang. And I have to say, imagining that he'll eventually settle down with Patricia Heaton and have a happy family life helps me swallow that kick to the groin ending much better.

One thing that Monoson has going for him is the fact that he was 16 during filming, and I can't believe that his buddies were much older. While most "high schoolers" in these types of films are played by actors well into their twenties, it is refreshing to see performers that look the part, but still have the chops to play out some serious teenage drama. Of course, this begs the question, "How much of the awkward reaction to the parade of grinding, half-naked, women the trio encounters was actual 'acting' and how much was just teenagers being awkward teenagers?" My guess is, not much, but then again, does it matter?

This movie has the typical schemes and failed sexual exploits as other films in the genre (i.e. visits to the neighborhood nympho and local prostitute), but the one scene that left me scratching my head was a lockerroom scene in which Gary and David break out rulers and measure an entire gym class worth of man-muscle. Yes, you heard me right. There's a big ole homo-erotic scene featuring highschool boys comparing their "equipment." Seeing Gary and David looking at one another and laughing as a parade of boys in tighty whities step up to display their junk was actually a little bit disturbing. But then again, I'm probably feeling the exact same thing that every woman in the world feels during those scenes where young ladies are randomly hanging out in their skivvies when a pillow fight breaks out. You know, what's good for the goose and all that.

As far as the genre goes, this one is pretty decent. It does a good job at balancing the absurdity and real drama of modern (in the eighties) teenage life and peppering it with the bawdiness we expect from this type of movie. It's no Fast Times, but comes closer to capturing what made that movie classic than any other film of the day.

Shake it up!