Of Kings and Pharaohs!

Most horror film fans will site Don Coscarelli's Phantasm (1979), a mind-bending terror classic, as being his masterpiece... and honestly I would probably agree. However, it was his follow-up that had the most impact on me as a young child. The Beastmaster (1982) may have been a cheapie knock-off of Arnie's Conan the Barbarian (1982), but it was the perfect alchemy of outlandish mythos, action and camp. I spent the majority of my time between ages six and seven running around in my underpants, pretending to be the character Dar and commanding the beasts of the realm to do my bidding. Yeah, it's sad. Flashforward twenty years. In 2002's Bubba Ho-Tep, Coscarelli managed to strike that perfect balance once again.

The story picks up 25 years after the "death of Elvis Presley," however we are introduced to The King spending his twilight years in an old folks' home. It turns out that in his quest for a simpler life, Elvis pulled a Hayley Mills and switched lives with a succesful impersonator. And, yup! You guessed it! it was the impersonator who died on the throne in 1977. In the wake of his own death, Elvis lived and loved life as an impersonator of his former self... that is, until a broken hip landed him in the nursing home.

The Elvis we meet is a parody of his former glory, complete with prescription shades, gray mutton chops and an inability to do anything for himself. He watches those around him die alone and awaits his own turn with cranky complacency. Soon, though, as those around him start dying off at a slightly faster pace than usual, E. must band together with an elderly black man who thinks he's JFK to fight off an ancient Egyptian curse. Genius? Lunacy? Sometimes they are one and the same.

In many circles, Bruce Campbell is held in such high esteem that he is beyond criticism. That's actually pretty hilarious considering some of the unwatchable garbage he's been featured in. However, Bubba Ho-Tep might be his tour de force. His Elvis is all latex-rubbery faced, but I'll be damned if he doesn't bring some life to the character. Is it a broad impersonation of Elvis? When it needs to be. But more often than not he's playing exactly the kind of bitter old man you'd expect Elvis Presley to be if her were alive today. This is underscored by Campbell's portrayal of Sebastian Haff, the impersonator that Elvis switches with. Of course they look identical, but Haff is as awkward and bumbling as Presley is cocksure and suave.

Ossie Davis also shines as the character Jack. While we are led to believe that the guy the nurses call "Sebastian" IS really the King of Rock and Roll, it is pretty clear from the beginning that Jack is suffering from dementia and most likely is not JFK with a fresh, black paint job courtesy of the CIA. However, his conviction and drive through the film make you wonder if it's your reality or his reality that matters more. Is it more important that he IS who he says he is, or is it enough that he simply BELIEVES that he is? Elvis makes decides to go with Jack's delusions and it is hard to imagine anyone not following this leader of men into battle... even if he may not be the leader he thinks that he is.

As Jack and Elvis began to hatch their paln, I realized that I was watching a very formulaic story. It's been done time and again in other horror movies. You know... 1. Life around here is boring. 2. Something mysterious happens. 3. We go to the library to research our local, creepy history. 4. We use what's on hand to defeat the monster. It's the tried and true plot to every one of those kid-oriented horror movies from the eighties. But that's kinda what makes this movie so cool. Here these guys are in their golden years. Life's a never ending cycle of bedpans, ointments and pureed green beans. Of course it would take a childhood hero fantasy to fill them with the excitement to live life and do something bigger than themselves. Live or die, the fight is something different. It is a chance (possibly the last) to be useful and make a difference.

Be warned, Bubba Ho-Tep has the feel and (at times) the look of a film made on the cheap. However, it's a small movie that never tries to be more than that. Despite the manic action and batshit plot, it's the tale of two elderly gentlemen rediscovering themsleves and defeating a soul-sucking Egyptian pharaoh. Good stuff. If you haven't yet, you should watch this today!

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Still Late After All These Years!

With Conan O'Brien booted off of the Tonight Show and Jay Leno on his way back to 11:30, it seemed like an appropriate time to take a look at HBO's 1996 movie The Late Shift, which takes a look at the first time NBC decided to royally screw the late night pooch.

You see, back in 1991 the perception by some was that Johnny Carson was getting increasingly irrelevant. Ratings were slipping a bit and the brass at NBC were starting to worry about the future of their enormously successful late night block. Something had to be done. NBC, of course, got greedy and in an attempt to keep ahold of a "hot new talent" (Leno) and a proven talent they'd put ten years into grooming (Letterman) they wound up allowing themselves to be bullied in one of the epic clusterfucks of the 20th century.

We all know how it ended, so you'd think The Late Shift would be all about the whos, hows and whys. What we really get (aside from parade of forgettable,spineless executives)is a scapegoat in the form of Jay Leno's agent, Helen Kushnick (played here by Kathy Bates). Bates won a Golden Globe for her performance, but it's painfully obvious that she's simply phoning in (on a giant 90s car phone) a stock, fat 'n' sassy performance amped up to 10 on the retarded scale. Seriously, in the scene where she goes apeshit and knocks everything off her desk... it's just shockingly bad. Even more shocking is to think about what we used to accept as quality programming even as recently as 1996. This is HBO! The folks that gave us Oz, Sex and the City and The Sopranos. This crap makes Arli$$ look like friggin' Schindler's List. But I digress.

A lot of folks give props to John Michael Higgins' portrayal of David Letterman, and he deserves it. What begins as a pretty decent impression slowly becomes a fully developed character as we begin to glimpse the paranoia and distrust at the core of Letterman's character. Poor Daniel Roebuck, on the other hand, must have drawn the short straw.

Roebuck seemes like a genuinely nice guy, but anyone tasked with pulling off that lithpy, lilting Jay Leno voice is destined to look like a fool. And I haven't even mentioned the Leno make-up yet. Yup, they go for the full-on false chin. In fact, the jowl and chin prosthetic is so ridiculous that he looked more like Rocky Dennis than Jay Leno. And stuuupid? Do they play Leno stupid? He is waaay in the dark about everything going on around him. Of course, it's supposed to make him sympathetic, but he comes off as an inept manchild. He will hold onto his late night show. He will love it and pet it and call it George! Pathetic.

The Late Shift is a neat little curio of the early 90s late night wars, but beyond that it has little to offer. But I am psyched for the next two entries into what will surely be a trilogy of Jay Leno sticking it to other, more talented television hosts. Conan's royal screwing in 2010 will be the Empire Strikes Back of the series, while Jimmy Fallon's inevitable shafting in 2027 will bring it all to a close.

Or will it?

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Crestwood House Monster Books: I Need These!

Back in my elementary school days, the Crestwood House Monster books were the end all be all of horror. It was an astoundingly thorough collection (nearly twenty individual volumes) covering all of the most iconic film monsters. I'm sure I checked each and every one of them out multiple times during our once a week trips to the school library.

It was kinda cool. They were always way back in the farthest corner of the library. Lined up in a neat little row of tattered orange spines if you were lucky. If you weren't, there'd just be one or two loose volumes. Then, you were all like, "No! Please... don't let it be... Crap! 'The Deadly Mantis' is the only one left!" Didn't really matter. You knew you were taking it anyway.

Damn. Gotta get my hands on a set of these. Check out Paxton Holley's Flickr set for a stroll down memory lane.

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Mega-Bite: Recipe Look

In educational theory (and in the design world, and probably the world of filmmaking, too), visual thinkers are singled out for their aptitude for sight-based learning and understanding. While I don't consider myself a strictly visual thinker, I do have strong tendencies in that direction.

Those of you who are simlarly inclined may enjoy Recipe Look, a blog that catalogs visual representations of recipes, rather than the more common text format.

On the day I visited, on the top was a beautiful, simple illustration explaining how to stir-fry "Prawns, garlic and Chilli with Green Beans and Linguini."

It didn't have amounts for the ingredients, but most stir-fry recipes are just improvisations that someone has written down, anyway. And the circular graphic told me at a glance in what order to add the ingredients. I almost didn't have to read. I just absorbed. AND I LOVED IT!

(By the way, it reminds me of some of the beautiful photo illustrations in Thomas Keller's new Ad Hoc At Home cookbook, which I got as a Christmas gift.)

When I have more time, I'm definitely going to explore Recipe Look further.

And apparently, those of us so inclined could submit our own illustrations.

Just wanted to take a quick minute and share this exciting little idea with you.

(With thanks from HOW Blog for the link ... )

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