No, not turkey. Turkey!

Cafe Instanbul
Newport, Kentucky

We've been doing a ton of movie reviews lately, and the meals have sorta fallen along the wayside.
Truth be told, it's a little hard to find something different enough to spur comment around these parts.
But, thanks to a business trip to Cincinnati, I got to enjoy something out of the norm: Turkish food! What's that, you say? It's kind of the bridge between Mediterranean and African foods. Cafe Istanbul, located in Newport, Ky., right across the river from Cincy, dubs itself as Mediterranean. But kebabs are a prominant part of the menu, and the flavor combos definitely stray from the Greek or Italian you might think of when you hear that word. Really, I think they just don't want to scare people off.
Anyway, here's what I wrote from the road the night I went to this beautiful place:
My selections:
Meze Sampler appetizer
(stuffed grape leaves, house-made feta, ezme, hummus, pastrami)
Salmon with Beet and Potato Puree
Coban (a.k.a. Shepherd's Salad)
Turkish Coffee
My idea of comfort food is probably a little different than most Midwestern girls'.
Ask most from around my native prairie lands to name some of their favorite foods, and they'll rattle off chicken and dumplings, fluffy mashed potatoes, sugar cream pie, even that famous giant tenderloin sandwich.
And don't get me wrong -- I love all of those things.
But I can get those things any day of the week.
There are, on the other hand, foods that I yearn for, even covet. Foods that I dream about for days after my plate is clean.
There are smells and flavors that put an instant, ecstatic smile on my face.
And at Cafe Istanbul, dish after dish had me stifling the urge to marvel outloud. (For, unfortunately, my usual tablemate in such tasty adventures was nearly 200 miles away. And I had already elicited questions from my co-workers. ("How do you know so much about hummus?")
I started with a tiny cup of Turkish coffee. Straight. In all its thick, black, sweetly spicy glory.
I'm smiling just thinking about it. (Alas, there was no fortune teller to read my grounds.)
The Meze Sampler's highlight for me was definitely the house-made feta. The dense white triangles held a pungent, clean tanginess, a treat to be enjoyed in small doses. The ezme -- a salsa, of sorts -- and hummus were good scooped up with the pita-like bread, and the stuffed grape leaves were mild but intriguing.
The Coban, or Shepherd's Salad, was a spot-on mix of diced cucumber and tomato, slivers of red onion, rings of green onion and snipped parsley, dressed lightly with a lemon vinaigrette, easy on the lemon, and piled with a milder version of the feta, grated.
My salmon was meaty and mild, but a relish on top added a nice bit of complexity. The real star of the plate, for me, was the beet and potato puree. The color was sublime, a magenta that almost seemed translucent, despite the heft of the mixture. And the taste -- it was like unearthing a buried treasure. The earthy sweetness of the beets married beautifully with the more solid, familiar taste of the potatoes.
My fellow diners gave high makrs to the tilapia, the mushroom risotto, the beef tenderloin penne arrabiatta and the chicken kebab.
But if they had known how enthralled I was, I surely would have been outed as the strange bird I am.

>>> READ MORE ... you know you want to.

Sizzlin' Like Fajita Meat!

Found this link via the Ain't It Cool website to what is purportedly the poster for the upcoming ATHF movie, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters. In a 8os fantasy stylee ala Frank Frazetta. Too cool for words.

>>> READ MORE ... you know you want to.

Shot Down in a Blaze of Glory!

Ghost Rider

(2007)

With wildly popular film series based on Spider-man, the Fantastic Four, X-Men, and reboots for both the Superman and Batman franchises in the recent past, the movie industry is scrambling to mine the comic book world for their next golden geese. The appearance of a film based on Marvel's Ghost Rider character makes it seem as though Hollywood has finally begun scraping the bottom of the comic book barrel. I mean, what's next? A film adaptation of Andy Capp (sponsored by Hot Fries, naturally)?

Yes, it's painfully obvious that the Ghost Rider character is merely the default, 2nd tier hero to get the film treatment in the wake of the comic film boom, but in reality, the character completely warrants a movie on his own merits. He's a a flaming skeleton sent by the devil himself to harvest the souls of the damned... on a motorcycle. It don't get much cooler than that. Plus, the themes in the story are cultural touchstones embraced by artists as diverse as Stephen Vincent Benet and the Charlie Daniels' Band. It's just too bad that the filmmakers couldn't seem to keep this one as simple as it needed to be. The character is essentially a refugee of the 70s and the film should have reflected that. Instead, in Ghost Rider, we get a mish-mash of style and substance that never quite coalesces.

The film starts off promisingly. You can't go anymore "classic" with your storytelling than to kick things off with a voiceover narration. Normally, I'm not a big fan of this device (film is a visual medium, after all), but in this case it really set a tone that should have been the foundation for the entire film. Instead, Sam Elliot (voiceover king) sets us up for a mythical chunk of hillbilly gothic that never quite materializes.

When we meet up with the team of baddies that our hero must confront, it becomes painfully obvious that the remainder of the film will consist of Ghost Rider devising clever ways to dispatch each of the underlings (ghostly manifestations of earth, wind and fire... the elements, not the soul group) and finally the big boss, Blackheart (the very son of the devil). It's almost like the screenwriter (director, Mark Steven Johnson) was working from the same set of notes as the creators of any third tier video game. In fact, I'd much rather have seen Ghost Rider take on Bowser than the puny demon Wes Bentley portrays.

As much as I was disappointed by this film, I do have to still recommend getting out to see it, as it is your first opportunity to see the Grindhouse trailer on the big screen. The old man sitting behind us commented, "Wow, that looks like total garbage." To which I say, "Yes it does. Sweet, sweet garbage."

Check out the Ghost Rider Trailer here.

>>> READ MORE ... you know you want to.

A Load of Grindhouse Goodness!

A couple of months ago I posted a link to the teaser trailer for Grindhouse. They just released the official trailer, and, even though it doesn't seem possible, it's ten times cooler.

Plus, don't miss this interview/EPK thingie called, What is Grindhouse?

Finally, a few months ago Robert Rodriguez announced a contest where fans could create thier own, wholly original trailers in the style of 70s exploitation (much like those that will appear between the two features in Grindhouse) and the winners would be screened at the SXSW festival. The folks at Aint It Cool have rounded up a couple of collections of these fan trailers and they can be found here and here. Some are good and some are pretty bad, but my favorite (possibly for no other reason than the fact that it has the greatest name EVER) is Load Bearing Stud.

>>> READ MORE ... you know you want to.

Lost or found?

Pan's Labyrinth
(2006)

It's strange that a fantastic world like the one explored in Guillermo del Toro's latest film would feel so familiar.

As I watched the movie, fascinated, I wondered why I felt so at home.

There was, of course, the mastery of the writer/director, del Toro, weaving a heartbreaking story between two worlds -- the early days of Franco's fascist Spain and the magical one beyond the labyrinth.

And, of course, there are obvious parallels between a classic children's tale so recently brought to life on the big screen, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, as well as other stories of children finding new worlds in their imagination as a way to escape the fear, violence and pain in their real world -- Bedknobs and Broomsticks and Tales from the Neverending Story come to mind. (With the lingering questions in all, of course, about whether the worlds really were imaginary, after all.)

But it was more than that.

Then, as I was reading and thinking about the film -- and what I was going to write here -- it hit me.

Magical Realism.

It's a long literary tradition, with particularly strong ties to Latin American cultures. It's been a while, I'll admit, since I read anything that would fall squarely into that genre. In fact, the only specific work that sticks in my mind is Isabel Allende's The House of the Spirits. But this film fits into that tradition beautifully.

In Magical Realism, there is only a thin veil between the real world and the world of magic and spirits, and each has undeniable ties to and effects on the other. The characters that are able to cross the boundary need only to be open to the possibilities.

It occurs to me that an author with more cache (Oprah's book club, anyone?) but with strong Magical Realism tendencies is Toni Morrison. She's more watercooler-friendly, so her stories are a great place to start if you want to explore the fine line between reality and "fantasy".

And while the magical world is not necessarily spiritual, there are obvious parallels. It seems to me to be no coincidence that the same parts of the world that nurture mystical systems of belief like voodoo and santeria also cultivate tales like this one.


And, in a world where organized "religion" can be maligned (and not unjustifiably) with the simple assertion that across the centuries millions have died in the name of God at the hands of men gripped by evil, is it any surprise that magic and spirits feel more comfortable, more real, than liturgy and priests?

(In Pan's Labyrinth, watch for the comment by the priest at the dinner party where plans are made to squeeze the rebels into submission. A wolf in sheepskin if there ever has been one ... )

And this story in particular, which is clearly populated by mythical creatures with no ties to Christianity, centers on undeniably Christian themes: Judgment and redemption.

Young Ofelia (aka Princess Moanna) will learn soon enough, her mother informs her, that she'll have to compromise her beliefs if she wants to survive. The real world -- a fallen one (a Christian worldview that is not spelled out in the film, but is obviously illustrated by the irrational violence that reigns in fascist Spain) -- is nothing like her fairy realm.

Yet we see other characters -- and adults, at that -- making choices with very harsh consequences in an effort to turn things right again. In the words of one such character who pays with his life, what other choice do they have?

Ofelia is ultimately faced with the same choice that we all are: Will we blindly obey the urgings of the world (or our own selfish human nature), or will we strike out on faith and put it all on the line for what we believe is right?

So is this a tale of tragedy or triumph?

That depends on which is more important: the "real" world or the fairy world, our bodies or our souls.

>>> READ MORE ... you know you want to.

Face Your Fears!

Remaking the classic (and not so classic) horror films from the seventies is en vogue right now, but when I heard they were gonna do a "remake" of Faces of Death, I was baffled to say the least. Yeah, I know that the majority of the scenes were faked, but still... a remake of what is essentially a parade of disjointed clip is pretty redundant. Plus, I've seen things ten times worse than the original FOD films on the internet... on accident!

But then I heard that there was a screenplay out there that basically took the premise of the original films (bizarro Dr. Francis B. Gross' ongoing quest to document grisly death scenes) and structured a plot around it (possibly characters investigating a series of mysterious deaths). I have to admit, I love that idea. Very meta. Very modern. It is such a cool idea, in fact, that I quickly shrugged it off as a fan-fueled rumor that would most likely never materialize. Then, today they had a link to what might actually be a trailer for a FOD remake on Aint It Cool.

Now, I don't wanna get my hopes up too much, but the idea's pretty solid and I'm dying for some retro-horror not produced by Michael Bay. Here's hoping that this one is for real.

Check out the trailer, here.

>>> READ MORE ... you know you want to.

Number TWO in the Hood, G!

Yesterday after I got off work I hit the Y. Luckily I got there early enough to change the tv away from BET (which it is perpetually set to). I always listen to the ole Ipod while I'm on the treadmill, so I usually opt for one of the news channels that have enough scrolling and otherwise graphic info that listening is not imperative.

Yesterday, I stopped on MSNBC and there appeared to be some sort of "BREAKING NEWS!" going on. Of course, previous experience has taught me that what a news channel considers "BREAKING NEWS!" is seldom worthy of yanking out the earbuds. So, I just kept on going, glancing up only occasionally to check out what was going on. Really, it was only random words that registered in my head. Boston, bomb, terrorist plot... It was only later yesterday evening that I learned it was all complete overreaction to guerilla marketing for the upcoming Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie.

Yeah, it's pretty lame. You'd think that someone... anyone at the Boston police department would have had the wherewithall to say, "Hey, guys. Maybe we should at least give this thing a little look-see before we call out the bomb squad, S.W.A.T. team, k-9 units, and the remote controlled bomb-detonating robot." If they had actually looked at these things (and I'm not talking about poking around at them, either... I'm just talking about opening your eyes!), they would have most likely come to the conclusion that Christmas lights and Duracells generally aren't considered components in a WMD.

I mean, I understand that Boston is probably harboring a lot of guilt. You know... two of the three 9/11 jets took off from Logan. Plus, they've recently begun dropping massive concrete slabs on top of their own citizens, but there is such a thing as being cautious to the point of absurdity. And that is exactly what happened yesterday on national television. Check out the local coverage of it, here.

Anyway, I'm a pretty big fan of ATHF. The first two seasons, anyway, but I'm a little leery of a film version. Early word from folks who have seen it is that it pretty much sucks. I mean, they're stretching an eleven minute show out to an hour and a half. What could possibly go... right? I must admit though, the trailer almost has me excited for it. Almost. You can see it, here.

UPDATE!!!

Best... press... conference... ever!

UPDATIER!!!

Comemorative T-Shirts!

UPDATIEST!!!

Osama Teen Hunger Force!

>>> READ MORE ... you know you want to.